"Hitting the Wall"

I've been debating about writing this for a couple of days now, in fear that I'll have a surge of sympathy e-cards, and send certain people in to a worried panic (you know who you are, and I assure you I'm fine.) I figured that writing may help. So here it goes...

Lately I've been missing home. Mostly the people, not just friends and family, which I do miss a lot, but even more so is the ability to walk up to a stranger, ask a question and have them respond on what I view as a logical answer. I miss hanging out with westerners.

One of the teachers here refers to it as "hitting the wall". At some point all foreign teachers reach a point where they get sick of cultural difference and miss home. Well I've hit it, and although it's not a head on collision, mental breakdown, crying my eyes out, I've still hit it.

The teachers that I've talked  say that they're surprised i haven't felt this sooner. That most single girls breakdown in the first 2 months. But being hardcore like our family is, I managed to push it off further. This is the point where you figure out if you can actually make it as an international teacher, you either work through it and are able to continue to live abroad or you can get over the feeling and you end up returning home. I know that I'm the first type of person. but still you can't help wondering What am I doing here? Is this the right career move? Why is everyone here so fricking weird? Is it really that hard to supply an art class with scissors? Is it possible to stop sweating all the time?

So in I have complied a list of things I miss the most in no particular order:

• Bread, you think when the Spanish invaded they would have taught the Filipinos how to make bread, they did not. Neither did the Americans. 
• Having multiple circles of friends. My friends here are my colleagues so I see them at work and then we hang out after school, then we go out on the weekends, then we vacation together. Sometimes you want some variety.
• For ants to not be crawling on me and being everywhere. I keep my kitchen clean so I don't have ants, unfortunately they've invaded my bathroom, because they're just attracted to the water. You sit on the couch there's an ant on you, where did it come from, I don't know. You're typing on you laptop, out come an ant from you keyboard. You know what controls this in Canada, snow and winter, they die. HERE THEY NEVER DIE!
• I miss how when at home when I ask people for directions or any question really, they don't answer with a 15 minute story about their cousin who lives in Pennsylvania. 
•  art galleries and art supply stores 
• People understanding sarcasm 
• Change in weather
• Flirting. Sometimes a girl just wants to flirt with someone, unfortunately there's no one to flirt with, and Filipino flirting is a little different. They will stand far away, stare at you kinda creepily, then one of two things will happen, they will sing to you, or they will send their friend to get your number. If at any point you attempt to have a real conversation with them they will run away. Any foreign men here are married teachers or old creepy white guys in the late 60's who came here to marry a 18 year old Filipina girls. Neither are good options. 
• Jobs being completed in a logical order. Like when I request that they fix the pipe that is currently flooding my classroom in the morning, that it should take priority over setting up tables for an afternoon event. 
• Roll up the rim 
• Being able to text friends about random funny things that happen throughout the day. And yes, I could pay for a fancy phone plan and get a fancy app that would allow this but that's like $60 a month and I'm very happy with my $2 a month cell phone plan. 
• Not having the debate whether it is worth turning on the oven to make dinner and have my place disgustingly hot or to just eat a granola bar and be comfortable.
• not having to google to figure out if this spider/scorpion/scary bug could possibly kill me. 
• I miss being able to do things for myself. It gets annoying that every time you try to carry a box, or hang something on the wall or buy materials for my classroom, that people won't let you and it need to be done by someone else, who then misplaces the box, and hangs the painting crooked and at a weird height and gets the wrong supplies and they arrive 3 weeks late.